You might think being a newlywed is the most beautiful time, because you can finally live with your idol. However, this assumption is not always true. At the beginning of marriage, you and your partner can make classic mistakes that hinder the realization of these dreams.
The mistakes made by newlyweds, often occur unnoticed. Actually this is common in the process of household learning. Even though it might frustrate you, you and your partner need to face it together with understanding.
Here are some common mistakes that new brides often make:
1. Hope Couples Change
You might expect your partner to change after marriage, to be the person you dream of. However, in reality he is still the same as before so you are disappointed. Moreover, your disappointment might just keep you blaming him.
You need to be open and discuss this matter together. Try to remember back the reason you believe and choose to live with him. In marriage, you really need to learn to compromise where you need to respect each other's strengths and weaknesses.
You also need to understand that personality doesn't change in seconds. You can have high hopes for your partner, but make sure they are needed, not just wishes.
2. Not Open Financial Problem
While still dating, financial matters may be personal and sensitive to talk about. However, no longer when married. In fact this matter should have been discussed since before the wedding. The reason is, you and your partner can have different ways of saving, spending money, and tolerance about debt.
For example, because you and your spouse are closed with financial issues, the cost of a wedding may be burdensome for one party to need to owe. This then becomes a problem at the beginning of marriage because one party is very anti-debt, while the other party has no problem.
Do not stop there, newlyweds can also stress regulating the cost of household needs if this is not well discussed. For example, whether the cost is only from the salary of the husband or joint venture with husband and wife. So, open up financial matters because you have lived together and will achieve many things together as well.
3. Not Instantly Resolve Problems
Problems must exist in every relationship, including newlyweds. There are relatively mild problems, such as teasing when joking, to more severe problems, such as difficulty getting offspring. When this happens, talk about it and resolve it well.
If you keep quiet and hope that the problem will improve by itself, you will add to the problem. Your frustration may continue to accumulate, until you hold a grudge against your partner and your marriage can be damaged. To prevent this, always express your feelings to your partner when there is a problem. Discuss it well while still respecting each other's feelings.
4. Arguing in front of others
When you are angry with your partner, try not to take it out in front of other people, like family or friends. This might make other people think badly of your partner, which ultimately leads to negative opinions and rejection of your relationship.
Some people may not care about other people's opinions. However, if you or your partner, including people who care about what people say, your relationship with your partner can be affected. Therefore, if you and your spouse fight, you should do it in private and finish it well.
5. Imposing Family Traditions
Life with your family before marriage, can make you have certain beliefs about the household. For example, if you were raised in a family where the husband is fully obliged to pay for all household needs, then naturally you expect your husband to do the same thing.
This can be a problem if your husband's income is now not enough to meet those needs. You can be disappointed and compare your husband with the men in your family.
This condition can be a problem in your new family. In fact, you know you can't equate all marriages. The family that raised you could be different from your new family with a partner. Therefore, try to understand each other.
After knowing some of the conflicts that often occur with newlyweds, you can avoid making the same mistakes. A happy marriage does not happen in a blink of an eye, but is realized thanks to the consistent cooperation of the two parties over the years. So, keep trying to be a good partner with each other. Wishing you all the best in your new life.
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